boundaries crossed

An amazing thing happened today. I went for my third day of bikram yoga (that should say enough..) and got in there and thought, I'm really sweaty and hot (note to self: NEVER stand under the lights, as if the heat of the room isn't enough already) and my tanktop, sticking to me, is getting on my nerves. So. I took it off. I contemplated it for a good first 25 minutes of the set. Then I thought: we're all in here sweating and focus should be on ourselves only and not anyone else. I took off the tanktop and focused my eyes on my body as I watched it go in and out of the poses.

It was an interesting freedom I was afforded just then - the freedom to take off my tanktop in a space where I felt I had room to. It was mostly for comfort - the shirt was soaked through and wet on my skin, and I didn't like the feeling. It was also to see if I would do it, because i could...I could have started with the shirt on and kept it on. I could have started with the shirt off, then I wouldn't have to go through the whole agony of deciding on whether or not to take it off. Still, I decided it's my comfort, my body. No one else should be looking at it at this moment but myself. And I have to be able to look at it.

So, I'm hooked to this bikram yoga. I've gone three times and had three different teachers. I've decided that I like the teacher that talks really fast, that goes through it motorcycle-style and revs up the engine. He, however, teaches at 6:30am on tuesday/thursday. When my trial period is up, I'm going to have to figure out a way to do what I want...so that I can be there like i'd want to be.