Wednesday, January 23, 2008

if it's one thing i thank rutgers for...

it's this inclination towards teaching. i think if it hadn't been a situation of baptism by fire, i would have shied away. i wouldn't have thought i was capable of teaching, much less teach college, of being in front of and responsible for 24 students, of having them call me "professor" of handing out grades and being hard and fast and saying "no, i cannot give you the higher grade because you have not earned it" of having students say mine was their favorite class.

but this experience, gave me a heads up into some nice, nice work i found in the city, which means it looks like something is keeping me here despite the thought of it wanting to throw me away. and i'm excited, and thrilled (who would have thought!) about the future.

i'm trying to get into the discipline of writing poems for myself. this is the first time really that i dont have any reason other than purely for myself to write poems. well, i would write them for myself as a means of getting away from doing my assigned work. it was sort of my procrastination technique. now i don't really have anything to procrastinate. i just have time and time. i need motivation and push and drive. and do.

i have some things to get done. i have some things to fulfill.

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