Punishment

There's a reading tonight that I want to go to. But I'm punishing myself. My punishment should exist in the form of turning off my internet, but I'm not sure I'm that disciplined in self-punishment, but I can make myself stay in my apartment until I write something today. I am punishing myself because I've managed to find so many things to keep me from writing that it's almost annoying. This blog writing is also a form of procrastination.

I'm at a crossroads that I've faced before. A while ago, I read through over and over "The Purpose Driven Life" and worried, because it talks about utilizing your gifts and such to fulfill your purpose in life. Then I was like -- crap! I have too many gifts. And this wasn't me trying to gloat or show off, but I thought, at the time, I had: my music, my writing, my athletics, my crafts. I didn't add to that teaching then, because I didn't know that it, too, would be a gift that I received. But here I am. So anyways, the crossroads that existed then was to decide which was going to come to the forefront. Which was going to get the most focus and attention. Writing moved up. I had to make that decision, and it has been a bit easier trying to figure out how to work my purpose out of that one thing.

So now I'm faced with many many projects that I want to work on right now. I have short stories, plays, a novel, some poetry reviews and essays - all of which are started in some shape or form but need some more attention. Attention that gets diffused into starting a new project. I need to pick one to come to the forefront until it is finished.